Three little boys were looking for a summer job.
Their preacher needed some people to go around and sell Bibles, so the preacher hired two boys without even thinking twice. He was hesitant about hiring the third boy because he suffered from a speech impediment, but hired him anyway.
So after the first days of work, they all met back at the church. The preacher looked at the first boy and asked him, “How many bibles did you sell?”
The boy stood up and said, “35.”
“Is that all you sold?” the preacher asked.
“He looked at the second boy and asked him the same thing.
The boy said, “75.”
“That’s good,” the preacher replied. He didn’t want to ask the third boy but did. The boy with the speech impediment said, “I-I-I s-s-sold 175.”
The preacher was amazed and asked the boy how he managed to sell all those Bibles.
He said, “I-I-I t-t-t-t-told them to b-b-buy t-t-t-t-them or I will r-r-read it to t-t-t-t-them.”
An elderly woman had just returned to her home
from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38!” (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks, breathing hard. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.”
“Scripture?” replied the burglar. “She said she had an ax and two 38’s!”
There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying.
But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her.
One time she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing.
After a while, he turned to her and asked: “You don’t really believe all that stuff in there do you?”
The lady replied “Of course I do. It is the Bible.”
He said “Well what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?”
She replied “Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible.”
He asked, “Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?”
The lady said “Well I don’t really know. I guess when I get to heaven I will ask him.”
“What if he isn’t in heaven?” the man asked sarcastically.
“Then YOU can ask him.” replied the lady.
