There was an old man who always rode his bike to his brother’s house every weekend.
It took him 2 hours and he alway’s made it by there by 2PM.
One day he tried to make it in 1 hour.
Collapsing on a hill from exhaustion, while sitting there, a Corvette pulls up and asks him if he needs a ride.
The man looks at his watch and sees he would be late if not, but there is already a passenger, so he asks how?
“No problem,” says the man in the corvette, “I’ve got a rope in the back and we’ll tie your bike to the back bumper and you can ride.”
The man says, “Ok!”
They take off and the driver yells back, “Just yell beep beep if I’m going to fast.”
No problem the man thinks.
They come to an Intersection and a Ferrari pulls up, the man’s eye’s widen in fright.
Sure enough, the light changes and they’re off!
Anyway, the guy made it to his brothers on time and the Vette lost.
Meanwhile, at the local police dept: “Hey guys the weirdest thing just happened to me. A Ferrari and a Vette just lost me at over 120 mph on Main Street.”
“What’s so weird about that?” asks the other cops.
The first cop says, “There was this old guy on a bike behind them screaming beep beep and trying to pass!”
An old man is sitting out on his deck one day
when he sees a young boy walking down the road with a roll of duct tape under his arm.
“Where are you going?” asks the old man.
“To catch some ducks” says the kid.
“You can’t catch ducks with duct tape” replies the old man.
“Ok” says the kid and carries on his way.
2 hours later up the road comes the kid with a load of ducks wrapped up in the tape.
Next day same old man see kid with a roll of chicken wire: “Where you off to today?”
Kid: “Going to catch some chickens.”
“You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire.”
Kid: “Ok”
Sure as bears shit in the woods a few hours later here comes the kid lugging a load of chickens caught in the wire. Next day the old man sees the kid with some sort of plant.
“What you got today?”
Kid: “A bunch of pussy willows.”
“Hold on till I get my coat.”
